Thursday, August 30, 2012

She Wants a Mama-day 6

Todays visit was so much better. That first official visit is just so overwhelming and weird.  She was almost the V we knew from before, but not quite.  But, again, that is good.  I am glad she is feeling us out and going slowly.

As soon as we walked in a nanny saw us and said she was glad we were there.  She said V had been asking all morning if we would come again to see her! I can not tell you how happy I was to hear she was asking for us!.

THen we went in the office with the translator to hear her history.  That was rough. I cried...a lot.  It is what you would expect. We didn't know any of it with Eva Marina since her birth mother abandoned her, so this was our first experience hearing in explicit detail the painful past of our child.  Some part of me holds on to hope that EM's birth mother loved her dearly, cared for her wonderfully, and left her because she had no choice. I know that the reality is probably quite different, but I don't know.  Well, this time we know. And it is awful.

It is what you would mostly expect.  V was removed.  No food in the home.  No clothes.  Filthy.  Birth mother drinking.  Had V out on the street begging for money. She was removed when she was 2.5 years old. Her birth mother has since had a son that she has kept.  She brought him with her to court to have her rights terminated for V. She didn't fight the termination.  She didn't visit V even though the courthouse is 5 minutes from the orphanage. Awful.  I am so glad she can feel how loved and wanted she is. How precious we think she is.  How hard we have worked to get to her! 

Then we moved to medical.  We got to hear about her birth which was cool. We also didn't get to learn any of that with EM. Health wise she is great.  Other than HIV she seems in perfect health.  EMs list of "issues" was super duper long.  V's was all "normal" test results and good news.  Yay!

We were getting nervous because the time for our visit was going by when V walked in the room with a nanny. The nanny said on the way by in the hall she heard us and insisted on going in to see us!  She grabbed my hand and we went outside.

As soon as we sat down she melted into me.  I gave her a banana which she clearly loves as much as her sister does!  It was so nice having the translator there today.  Immediately V said, "I want to go home.  I want to get on an airplane". Little girls is ready!  I know the wait over the next couple of weeks is going to be hard for all of us.  I am glad to know she is excited though.

The interpreter also said she thinks she does remember us, but I don't know that we will ever know for sure.  

She said she was not scared.  That she is happy.  That she wants a mama and a papa.  My heart was so glad to hear this. But, she is doing a little bit of big talking.  She is clearly nervous, of course.  Who wouldn't be? I would be terrified and I am 33!!

She went and sat by Dale and they looked at photos on his phone.  She loved that.  I was wondering how she would be with Dale. She was great with him. Definitely not scared of him.

She does not want to repeat English words with us like EM did.  In fact, she isn't talking much at all.  She is still very quiet.  More eye contact today, but not much.  Twice as many smiles, which means about 10. All this is where you would expect to be on visit 2.  Was very impressed with the progress we have made in just 2 visits actually.

I did get a great look at her teeth today. Though her front teeth are in horrible shape, I actually think hers are in better shape than EMs were.  More good news.

After only 30 minutes we had to take her back to her groupa. She let me help her with her shoes and clothes and she let me hug her goodbye. We also got the photobook back. So, tomorrow we can go over the names of her new brothers and sisters! She loves to look at EMs picture and smiles. So glad she has someone waiting for her at home that she knows already!

Our facilitator also seemed more hopeful today about our complication, which is good.  But, we are certainly not out of the woods so continued thoughts and prayers would be awesome.

After the visit Dale and I went to lunch and walked around.  We loved it here in the snow, but in this gorgeous weather it is just unreal.  We are in an amazing city!!

We are about to get out and walk around some more.  Soak up as much of this as we can. We have not been alone for about 8 years so it is strange to have no children around!

I am hoping I can post some good news tomorrow.  Will for sure update after our visit anyway!

Hope for Sharon and Mayah day 6


  1. Kate and is so heart warming to hear that today's visit went better for V. Tears was streaming down my face hearing of her past! She is a very lucky little girl to have been picked by the two of you! Much love and prayers coming your way.

  2. i am so thrilled you are there at last xxxx