This morning Darcy and I went to the doctor to do her lab work. I am glad to be doing this early for many reasons. It gets it out of the way. We get results sooner. Her big visit next week is shorter. So, I was happy to be going this morning even though I knew it would be no fun.
We got there and I realized that we had started to fill out her paperwork before we left. When we were leaning heavily towards a different name. So, I get there, sign her in as "Darcy" and we realize her orders are under the name we almost used. Dealing with that took about 30 extra minutes and seemed to irritate the crap out of the nurse. Ooops!
Darcy held up well, but about an hour in she started asking to go home. She also says something that translates to "pity me". She says it all. the. time. It must have been what worked with the nannies. It is her survival skill. It is what she says to get anyone to do anything for her. At this point in the visit she kept telling me to pity her.
An hour and a half into the visit we finally get called back to the lab. As soon as she saw the needle she started crying. From the time the needle got within an inch of her arm to the last drop of the 9th vial of blood, she screamed at the top of her lungs. It was like nothing I have ever heard. I have had 4 other children have blood taken, I have seen lots of kids do lots of things. I have never heard a child scream so loud for so long. She was working hard at it by the end, but she was not going to check up till it was done.
When we finished I got her a chocolate milk shake. She is a chocolate fiend. I am pulling back on the junk food, but I figured she needed a treat after that. Well, she stuck her fingers in it and said it wasn't good. This is crazy for her. She LOVES chocolate.
At the orphanage we worried she would have hoarding and gorging tendencies. But since being home she has not been eating. Skipping lunch and dinner. Hardly eating at all. We have given her fruits, vegetables, meat, bread, American food, Ukrainian food, lots of different foods.
I really believe this is, for the most part, about trying to control some aspect of her out of control life. I can only imagine how out of control she must feel. The stress she feels is beyond what most of us will ever experience. She is also off schedule, probably having digestive issues (I know I have em when I go to Ukraine), and stressed out. I know she won't starve. Today we did get her to eat a banana and some pineapples. She also had a bit of dry cereal. She has had a ton of water. She loves being able to drink as much water as she wants.
I know that this too shall pass. We will help her through it. We try to give her as much choice as we can during the day-picking out clothes, picking out books, games, foods, etc. Several friends gave some great advice to us and we will take her grocery shopping to pick foods from the store.
We also don't want to overwhelm her with choices so we limit options to 2. She really seems to like being able to pick her clothes and choose from her 2 pairs of shoes.
She also had her first good cry. She told me she wanted a nap, but I hovered outside the doorway and heard her cry. So, I went back in and she let me hold her. She said she was sad and scared. I was not expecting her to show us this so soon. I am glad she is feeling it and letting it out. I am even more glad she is letting me comfort her.
Darcy is doing great with other areas. Eye contact, sticking with us, checking in, all these things are going great. She is loving to cuddle, she is doing well with sharing cuddle time. There are a lot of areas that are going really well.
Day 4 home. At the very beginning of a long road. Seeing where Eva is in such a short time reminds me that we are going to move forward in some ways quickly and in other ways slowly. Her path is her path. Our path as a family is our path. It will all be OK and we are all walking in the same direction. Some days I will need more chocolate and coffee to get through than others. Today was one of those days. And that is OK.
Tomorrow is another day home. Another day forward. Another day as a family. It is good.